How can we find our best?

Throughout human history, crisis and disaster have done something strange. They've brought out the best in us. They've forced us to adapt, to cooperate, to innovate, to look after each other when nothing else worked. The very things we hate going through are often the things that show us what we're actually made of.

Think back to Hurricane Katrina. Thousands of people survived because neighbours and total strangers stepped in across the Gulf Coast. Boat owners from nearby towns, and from as far away as Texas, took their boats into New Orleans and pulled stranded people to safety. No one told them to. They just went.

Disasters realign us. They strip away the noise and remind us what really matters.

The question is whether we can find that same focus when life isn't on fire.

You can't grow others until you've grown yourself

This is one of those things that sounds obvious until you try to do it. Most of us spend more energy fixing the people around us than fixing what's going on inside. But you can only really lead someone where you've already been.

So before anything else, know yourself.

The Groundhog Day question

The 1993 film Groundhog Day takes a cynical, self-absorbed weatherman, played brilliantly by Bill Murray, and traps him in the same day on a permanent loop. He has to live it over and over until something in him changes.

It's a comedy, but the underlying question is serious. What would you do differently if you had to live this same day a thousand times? What would you stop tolerating in yourself? What would you start paying attention to?

The growth in the character isn't accidental. He chooses it.

Ten things I keep coming back to

These aren't in any particular order. They're the prompts I return to when I'm trying to grow:

Understand who you are, and celebrate what makes you you.
Understand where you're going, and why.
Understand who's on the journey with you.
Keep a small circle of trust.
Set personal goals that help you love and respect yourself.
Be secure in the gifts and skills you actually have.
Don't compare yourself to others, but feel free to contrast.
Don't compete with others, but stay open to collaborating.
Make time for your own growth. Properly.
Disrupt and challenge yourself before life does it for you.

A picture from Galatians

The Bible has a remarkable description of what a healthy inner life looks like. Paul, writing to the Galatians, lists nine qualities he calls the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

The list is striking because it isn't about achievement or status. It's about texture. What it actually feels like to be near someone who is growing inwardly.

A note for hard times

There's a line from Jesus in John 16 that I keep returning to. He doesn't pretend his followers will sail through life. He says straight out that there will be trouble. But then he adds something simple:

"Take heart; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

The honesty in that is part of what makes it land. He doesn't pretend life will be easy. He just says the harder thing isn't the final thing.

Closing

My hope, whatever you're walking through right now, is that you'll come out the other side with a clearer sense of what actually matters. The unimportant stuff has a way of falling off when life gets heavy. Let it.

So what does the better version of you look like, and what is one small step you could take this week towards becoming them?